i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
