Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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