lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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