I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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