Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
