Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
