when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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