A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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