Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize