rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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