Yo dont text me then not text me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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