I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
