My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
