Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize