Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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