Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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