I smell stomach acid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
