i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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