My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
