I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
