Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
