wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
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HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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