Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
