what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
