I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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