I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
