I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
