Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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