dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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