he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
