forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
