Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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