I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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