i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
