Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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