I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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