I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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