Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
