I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
