Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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