that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
