i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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