and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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