brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
