Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
im on a boat
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