Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
