Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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