Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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