I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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