At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i think i just lost a toe
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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