i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
im on a boat
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