I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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