Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize