Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
