Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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