belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
