only if we run a train.
done.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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