I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
