Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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