closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My bed smells like the plague
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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